The Big Show
I stood about 20 yards from the ring and watched the next match.
The first wrestler, Christopher Nowinski, was a Harvard University graduate with a B.A. in sociology (he was billed as “WWF’s Harvard graduate”). Nowinski’s opponent was called Bradshaw. He had been a college football player, but Bradshaw’s main gimmick as a pro wrestler — a wealthy, glad-handing businessman — was based on his real-life accomplishments as a stock market investor.
During the pre-match insult exchange, Bradshaw cut down Nowinski’s Harvard football team, and Nowinski shot back with put-downs about Bradshaw’s manhood — specifically his lack thereof. (I waited for Nowinski to mock Bradshaw for his lack of investment expertise, but it never happened.)
The next thirty minutes consisted of the two wrestlers punching, poking, and grabbing each other in a variety of moves. Eventually, Bradshaw pinned Nowinski to the mat and won the match. Afterward, the B.C. Lions football players returned to the ring and celebrated by drinking a beer with him, much to the crowd’s delight.
Once inside the bowels of the arena, I could hear the screaming crowd above me. I figured the show was heating up, so I quickly went back up to watch more action. I entered the arena just as the announcer was introducing the next match.
“Ladies and gentleman, here he is, all the way from Blackpool, England, William Regal!”
Mr. Regal jumped into the ring, and immediately a chorus of boos rose up from the crowd. Regal sported a crew cut and an odd-looking old-school pair of trunks. He appeared to be about 40 years old and was not in the best shape. He definitely had the red, pockmarked face of a man that had seen the inside of many a pub.
Regal drank in the torrent of catcalls that rained down upon him as he strutted around the ring with his head held high. After a few moments, he grabbed the microphone from the announcer and sneered at the crowd in a thick English accent: “Ah, Canada…the only good things in this God-forsaken country came from England!” More howls of fury erupted from the audience, and he further goaded his detractors: “You Canadians have always been a disgrace to the Commonwealth!” I laughed aloud at this one. Mr. Regal would be playing the heel tonight.
After a few more insults directed at his Canadian hosts, Regal handed the microphone back to the announcer, who then introduced Regal’s opponent: “And in this corner, hailing from Harlem, New York, the one, the only, Booker T!”
The oily dude I had seen warming up earlier came running down the aisle toward the ring. With his patriotic trunks and million-dollar smile, Booker T spread the ropes apart and jumped into the ring to universal cheers from the crowd. He raised his arms triumphantly over his head and bounced around the ring while pumping his fists in the air. The crowd loved him.
The announcer gave Booker T the microphone, and the wrestler proceeded to say some very nice things about Canada (beautiful, friendly, etc.) and some not very nice things about William Regal (ugly, unfriendly, etc.). The verbal abuse served its purpose well by getting the audience even more primed for the match.
The bout began with the “ring” of a pre-recorded bell, and the wrestlers were out of their corners and at each other. I don’t know the proper names of the moves they were pulling, but it all looked quite choreographed from where I was standing. My guess is that very few people in the audience actually believed what they were seeing was real. Just like the discriminating audience at a performance of Starlight Express, I’m sure this crowd knew this was all theatre.
After about 30 minutes of action, Booker T won the match by unceremoniously pinning Regal. Booker T’s triumph was punctuated with three hard slaps to the canvas by the referee and loud cheers of approval from the crowd.
According to the program, the next match was the main event: The Undertaker and Ric Flair versus The Big Show and Eddy Guerrero.
While I was interested in watching The Undertaker wrestle, I really needed to be near the limousine when he came out, so I went back outside to wait.
